i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
