I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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