he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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