you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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