honey bunches of taint.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
