i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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