so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
