how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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