she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
