You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
