he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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