i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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