Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
