ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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