A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize