your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
