I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize