Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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