i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
