So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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