there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
