Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago