Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Less talking, more tequila
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
