It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
