I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
tonight lets celebrate not being married
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
