Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
