I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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