Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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