the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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