when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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