I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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