I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
