could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
