I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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