well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
