Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
