I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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