He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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