everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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