grandma shit on top of the toilet
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
