JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
