I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
