is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
babies were throwing up all over the place
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
