I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
