A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
