Just cropdusted the office
We got so high we made milksteak
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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