We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
