This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
