Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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