i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
