they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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