He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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