is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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