thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
