I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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