Where did you get a picture of my penis
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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