is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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