I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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