I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
