My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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