dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
