i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
